Fears
by BSManthaLUV
Summary: He made her that person. The person she wished she could be. And she made him the exact person he despised. Yet, he kept coming back to her, looking for more. Lit.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything, god I'm sick of typing this.

**A/N: **I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I just read some beautiful fanfics, and they inspired me. So, I'm working around a summary and hopefully this will go somewhere, anywhere at all. Read the authors note at the bottom, and yea that was an order.

**Summary:** He made her that person. The person she wished she could be. And she made him the exact person he despised. Yet, he kept coming back to her, looking for more. One-parter LIT.

Jess remembered the night it was a full year ago; the last time he'd ever seen Rory. The last time he'd been lucky enough to see her eyes; his weakness. The last time he'd been fearful, now he faced everything head on. Ignoring any shivers that ran down his spine; fear was a special emotion reserved her.

-

_Just staring, watching everything she did from outside her window. Staring into the poolhouse as though it was fascinating, when really he was doing it because he was afraid._

_Afraid because Rory had let him love- actually love -her. It was something he had long ago deserted. It was all so fake; every couple just became another hallmark card; unoriginal and dull. _

_Jess leaned closer to the window, seeing her reflection darting in and out of the full-length mirror. Seeing his watch it with a small grin. It made him so at home to see her again; she was the only reason he'd stayed in this town. She looked depressed, a frown plastered upon her face. _

_He wanted to do something, wanted to help. But he couldn't._

_She looked out of place among the expensive items, in her baggy low-slung sweat shorts and t-shirt, which advertised a gas station. _

_Rory hadn't seen him yet; through the two nights he'd watched her hiding in the bushes with only his eyes to give him away. She hadn't looked oblivious to all her surroundings except her book and potato chips. She seemed terrified of the place she was in, sitting on the leather couch with a book in her hands. They were her only allies._

_Filled in a room of fake. She and her faint smile were the only real things that shown through the window._

_He was leaning close right now, his nose inches from the pane, his breath fogging it up making a spot of the room a colorless blur. It was how it should be; Rory would have rather had it that way._

_Jess was frightened; he could see the fear in his eyes courtesy of the full-length mirror. But he'd abandoned frightened long ago, it wasn't an emotion it was a thought that overcame you and made your other thoughts foggy, overriding them._

_He reached out his fingers to touch the glass, ready to tap it and send his whole plan into motion. She wouldn't see him, to engrossed in her book._

_Wherever she was he was. It had been weeks since he'd returned to Stars Hollow, and the first thing he'd done was tried to find Rory. It was a simple task, he didn't have to pry. Just ask and Luke dished out enough information to find her._

_He'd followed the chronicles of her life like they were a soap opera. Which it was, he'd come back just time for the series premiere. But what he didn't realize was that his life was the same way._

_Following the girl of his dreams, just to regain the feeling of security, and just to see her eyes. She was there, she'd been there, but he'd become shy, stopping to hiding in the bushes._

_Jess had tried to talk to her, but she couldn't hear him, not through the duct tape, which invisibly covered his mouth. Not one word to escape._

_But then he had to, had to look, had to stare, had to do. But he hadn't done, he'd skipped the most important step. Leaving the cookies uncooked._

_The breeze was growing stronger, into a firm wind that made his hair whip around his face and the bush dance around him, all in a push forward._

_He wanted to get closer to her, but she wasn't listening. Not with her eyes like she should, but with her ears ruining everything. He begged her to listen but she wouldn't. He was getting impatient not ready to make the first official move._

_He inched his fingers forward, finally leaving them to rest on the pane, and he tapped his pinky finger. She looked up, and he could hear her short scream from his home in the bush. That's when he realized it must be terrifying to see eyes and a hand watching you. He stood up revealing his full body, the wind blowing his coat around him filling it with air like a balloon._

_Rory rushed to the window and opened it._

"_Are you stalking me?" She asked still shook up from the site._

"_Possibly." Jess shrugged._

_Rory stayed silent studying him; she seemed to be considering something. He could read it in her eyes, listening with his. "Move," Rory sighed. She swung a leg out the opened window, and followed it quickly with her other._

"_What are you doing here?" She asked. _

"_Is this 21 questions?" He asked._

"_Answer me."_

"_You're not my boss." He answered._

_Rory crossed her arms over her chest, hiding from the cold in her own cocoon._

"_Nope."_

"_So?"_

"_So?" He took a step closer._

"_Jess." Rory warned. She took a step away, putting her hands in front of her. She put her arms up, childishly thinking it was some sort of barrier when all he had to do was wrap her vulnerable arms around his shoulders._

"_We're not good with words." He offered, sick of hearing the wind. He wanted to hear her voice, and his own. _

"_Spare me." Rory muttered, she was cold and wrapped her arms around her almost bare shoulders, a string exposing the pale cold resistant color of her skin. Unlike his… fried by the Cali sun. _

_He didn't want to do it, but he had to. There was only one thing left to do that might possibly earn back a shred of her respect. He was anxious, wanting to leave and wishing to stay. Disagreeing with himself, but agreeing all the same. Torn in half, but one side bigger than the other. The side that took over when he was with her. Rory. Rory. Rory._

"_I heard you dropped out of Yale. Got a boyfriend, are fighting with your mom, are facing charges for stealing a friekin' boat, and now live in your parents poolhouse."_

"_I heard that rumor to." Rory eyed him skeptically, wondering where he got all the information._

"_I swear I'm not a stalker." He said, loosing the battle with his fear. Ignoring it's presence, even well it hung thick in his eyes making everything foggy. _

_She didn't reply, "I'm going back to California tomorrow." _

_Rory looked stricken, "Perfect timing Jess as always. Come see a few hours before you leave."_

"_Well sorry I don't work around your busy schedule. Hope I didn't interrupt any late night hearings!" He snapped back loosing his temper, "Got a naked guy in your closet. Or is your mom's skeleton in there?" He was referring to everything she did wrong, striking every already sore spot._

"_Shut up." Rory stuttered looking at the ground. It was the face she got right before she cried._

_Now the fear side one over. Taking control and taking the wheel. She was his only fear. And he hid from her, behind his lips and his words and his leather jacket; it was time he became Jess minus the shields. At least to Rory…_

"_C'ya." He said shrugging his leather jacket off. He needed a new one anyway, it was 4 years old and he was out growing it. He slid it over her sun-sensitive shoulders, blocking her from the wind._

_They stared at each other for a few seconds, his hands resting on her stiff shoulders. The wind blew her hair around her face_

"_You'll always be that cliché stereotypical bad boy." She said as he began to walk away. He wasn't coming back this time; he wasn't going to crawl to her feet and then fear being stepped on. He was giving her that responsibility, if she loved him the way he loved her she would._

"_You betcha." He coldly and sarcastically but jokingly answered back shoving his hands into his pockets. He didn't dare look back knowing he'd loose his nerve._

_He'd been dying to get out- out of his shell. But he still wasn't, he'd just slipped further inside it._

_Jess felt her watching him, her eyes unmoving on his back. Disappearing in and out of streetlights until he wound around a corner she watched._

_As soon as he rounded the corner he sat down, carefully at in angle in which he could see her but she couldn't see him. He watched her watch the shadows, just standing there letting the moon make her glow and the wind rustle her hair; waiting. Waiting for something that would never happen, her arms now shoved into the jacket were fully covered. Blocked by the wind. _

"C'ya Rory." He muttered, getting up and walking away. Until he's slithered deep into the shadows.

-

Jess couldn't believe he'd arrived here, at Luke's. His uncles. She and Lorelai were here. He could see them through the picture window, and Rory was wearing the leather jacket, holding it protectively. Her hair in a tosseled pony tail, eyeliner lining her eyes. His eyes; he claimed them; they weren't anyone else's. They were his and hers. A secret shared. Her eyes.

He strolled past, glancing just quickly enough to see her glittering eyes and his black jacket.

He was glad to see they'd made up. Rory deserved the best; suddenly the fear rushed back to him. And he walked pas, on up the street. To the bus stop. But even though he hadn't gotten her and never would. Even though history had repeated itself. The visit had been worth it.

He knew she still cared. Cared enough to where a grungy black leather jacket that wasn't her style.

And that was enough.

**A/N: **I know it's not romantic or anything, but I like it just the way it is. I still consider it lit 'cause I personally think it still shows they are in love with each other. And it doesn't have one of those fluffy happy endings… I guess this one is just a little more realistic to me. Wait… this is the reviewers job not mine. I hope you liked it **PLZ REVIEW :D!**


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